Remember that one time when I posted a bunch of really random thoughts? We all had a pretty good time with that one, didn't we? Well, if you didn't then you're a jerk and you need to catch up (not really).

I had planned on making many of these thoughts the thrust of my SB Nation AZ Monday morning post, but then the Cardinals got my rage flowing nicely. Thanks to them, I was left with all these other opinions. If you haven't discovered this yet, I'm pretty good at getting irrationally mad about sports. Combine booze and things spike. 

Quick aside: during Game 6 of the Suns/Blazers series last year, my buddies and I were watching at a bar in Phoenix when Portland tied the affair at 76 all. I must have been doing some quality screaming because seconds later, our waitress brought me a beer and said someone had bought it for me to shut me up. Without missing a beat, my pal Dan turned to the bar and said, "Don't you know that's his yellin' juice!"

Yellin' juice. Make it a thing.

Back to my "point" ... since some of these thoughts are just oozing with brilliance and are ultra time-sensitive, I needed an outlet, and who better to drop them on than you, my buddies and buddiettes.

  • Is it just me or have the first three Suns games just felt like going the wrong way up an escalator? You know what I mean; it's basically a constant uphill battle to stay in front, stay close, or just accomplish anything, really. Kind of like pumping your legs to make any progress to the top of the escalator, it feels like the Suns are working awfully hard for everything they're getting. That doesn't seem like a particularly fun way to live.
  • I mentioned this in the Suns/Blazers game thread, but it bears repeating. Watching the Lakers getting their championship rings before their season opening game against the Rockets was kind of like watching the final scene from Star Wars: A New Hope if instead of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Chewbacca getting medals, Princess Leia draped them on the heads of Darth Vader, The Emperor, and a random Storm Trooper (Sasha Vujacic). Also, they'd have turned R2D2 and C3PO into scrap metal.
  • The Suns rebounding hasn't been terrible in the last couple games, but watching opposing teams pull down offensive rebounds on the undersized Suns kind of reminds me of a father playing basketball with his 8-year-old son. What with all the tipping it up and above the Phoenix players and what not.
  • Can I please preach a little patience on Hedo Turkoglu? Yes, I realize that I'm one of the people who's totally in the bag for his mix of skills and yes, I realize that he hasn't been great to this point in the season, but I still think he figures it out and becomes very effective. I wouldn't be surprised if the answer to Hedo's effectiveness is to start Hakim Warrick (since he does a homeless man's Amar'e impression quite well) and push Hedo to the bench where he gets to handle the ball a little more and create. Let's give the guy a few games where he isn't constantly in foul trouble. OK?
  • One concern I have about the expanding games of Jared Dudley and Channing Frye is that it will occur at the expense of their three point shooting. I'm all for slim Dudley and Channing trying to prove he's worth the mid-level exception, but if it costs the team three point shooters who hit 45.8% (Dudz) and 43.9% (Channing) of their (many) attempts respectively, then the team is going to be worse off in the long run. Don't lose what made you guys good. Spot shooting was working so well. Trade Dudley and what not! 
  • I was watching UNLV/Duke from 1991 on ESPN Classic on Saturday during some sort of "Shocking Upsets" thing they had going. What was funny was looking at Grant Hill. It's been 19 and a half years since that game and Grant basically looks exactly the same -- sans the awesome flat top. You know what, he should really bring back that flat top.     
  • How adorable is the tweet from Paul Coro on Matt Janning and how he borrowed Alvin Gentry's suit coat for the first game of the season? Where's the veteran leadership in telling Janning that he might need a suit coat for the road? Hell, where's Janning's dad taking him to buy his first suit for prom?
  • Now that Taylor Griffin has been passed by his brother Blake for leading NBA scorer in the Griffin family, how long does it take for T-Griff to leave Belgium and take his bald head to Blake's house and turn into the basketball version of Johnny Drama? I'm setting the over/under at six months. And in case you're wondering when I'm going to stop taking pot shots at Taylor Griffin, the answer is never. He could cure cancer and save me personally from a burning building and I'd probably still joke about the fact that the Suns drafted him. 
  • You know what bothers me most about the really stupid new LeBron James commercial? The part where he says "Should I stop listening to my friends?" I will field that one for you LeBron: yes, you should definitely stop listening to your idiot friends. Any time you fire your professional agents to hire your college dropout buddy to manage your career and said buddy goes on to help ruin your public relations image in one evening, you should stop listening. I just talked about Entourage above, so let's take another page here, LeBron: if you're so worried about listening to your buddies, you should probably just pay them about half a million a year to drive you around and hang out with you. They'll be like a bunch of Turtles.
  • I've gotten to the point where I almost cannot stand attending Suns/Lakers games. The crowd is a joke and most of the Laker fans I've come into contact with are the most ridiculous, void of basketball knowledge fans that I've encountered. A couple of my favorite "Laker fan" stories from the past year or so (and I'm absolutely aware this makes me a dick, also):
  1. After the Suns beat the Lakers last December, I walked out of US Airways to the pretty common screaming of Laker fans about how many rings their team has. It's like that in the bathroom after games, too -- you can't even take a piss in peace this day and age. Well, just to have a little fun, I asked one of the friendly Laker fans to quickly name three Laker players for me. Obviously, he rolled off Kobe pretty quickly, and, after a moment of thinking about it, even pulled off Pau Gasol. But that covered it. Even fresh after a game in which he watched his team play, the guy still couldn't even name three players on the team. He did however scream "Fuck you" when he couldn't get the third guy.
  2. During last Friday's game, I was unfortunately blessed with about 5 adult male Laker fans sitting directly behind me. Over the course of the game, I noticed that about the only player they would refer to by name was "Kobe." Everything he did would result in yelps of "Kobe" while the success of other players was received with generic applause and screaming. After they referred to Pau Gasol as "that Spaniard," I begun to realize they probably didn't know the names of any other players. This led to a meme that entertained me the rest of the game where I would refer to the Laker players as "Spanish Kobe," "Left-Handed Tall Kobe," "Left-Handed Short Kobe," "White Shaved Head Kobe," and "Crazy Kobe." I'm pretty sure they caught on.

Without further adieu, the intro song to Happy Days - RIP Tom Bosley.  

 


Suns facing Deadlines On Dudley, Clark

"I'm secure. At the end of the day, I know I'm going to be in the NBA for a long time. Money is not an issue for me just because I'm low maintenance. I know I'm going to have my money at the end of the day." -Jared Dudley

From Paul Coro


PHOENIX — When the Phoenix Suns acquired Hedo Turkoglu, everybody knew he would be a liability defending power forwards. But the thinking went, “Sure, maybe he can’t guard many...

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Ahh-wooooooo! Scared Yet? (Photo by P.A. Molumby/NBAE via Getty Images)

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Ahh-wooooooo! Scared Yet? (Photo by P.A. Molumby/NBAE via Getty Images)

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Sure, we're only 3 games into the season. Sure, the sample size is WAY too small to identify any predictable trends.

But we don't have another game till Wednesday night, so we gotta talk about SOMETHING right? And what better to talk about than the Phoenix Suns? Don't worry, I'll answer the question for you right now: nothing.

October is in the books. Happy Halloween!

How did the Suns fare in their first regular season games this month? Well, not so good. Hit the jump.

Let's look at some early data, courtesy of basketball-reference.

Standings_medium

The Suns are 1-2 overall, in 4th place in the Pacific Division and 11th in the Western Conference. If the playoffs began today, the prognosticators would have been right. Starting looking at lottery picks, folks!

Now let's see how the team is doing.

Suns-data_medium

So much for preseason talk that the Suns would be faster than their opponents. The Suns current Pace is 20th overall. Ugh. And so much for preseason talk and the all-important 'visual evidence from watching games' that the defense is improved. Suns are in the all-too-familiar 26th position out of 30 teams on defense. Again, ugh.

 

Suns-four-factors-10312010_medium

Okay, this is a little more difficult to read. Go to basketball-reference.com to figure out what each factor means, but suffice it to say that you want the rankings in parentheses to be as high as possible. The Suns' rankings are not.

 

Game-stats-10312010_medium

(in the immortal words of 'what she said': click on it to make it bigger)

Apparently, Steve Nash can't pass anymore without turning the ball over just as many times. Hakim Warrick is kicking butt in limited time, as is Goran Dragic, while Nash, Hill and Turkoglu are wasting their minutes by comparison. Oh and Dudley seems to have regressed as well. And Childress was a terrible offseason acquisition.

Looking specifically at the Power Forward position, Warrick and Turkoglu are averaging 19.3 points, 9 rebounds, 3.2 assists and 1 block in a combined 47 minutes per game. Yuck. Where are Amare and Lou (27.8, 13.3, 1.4 and 1.93 in a combined 48.4 minutes) when we need them?

Look at the 2009-2010 totals line (compare to the Totals line above):

Suns-0910-totals_medium

As a team, the following numbers are worse than a year ago: Points per game (-6.5), offensive rebounds (-.80), defensive rebounds (-3.2), assists (-4.6), blocks (-.10) and assist-turnover ratio (-.3). The only things the Suns are doing better than last year? Steals (+.16), Turnovers (-.10) and personal fouls (-1.7) 

This team is doomed. DOOoooOOOMMMMMMMMed.

Are you scared yet?


Friday Night's NBA Action

Did you all know you can now check out all the NBA results through SB Nation?


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