{Let's get this out of the way: today was another super duper, humungously important day in lockout talks and after the blah blah and the yadda yadda, we're still left with no basketball, the cancellation of the rest of the preseason and, soon, regular season games. More from SBN.}

Now, on to matters less frustrating.

Greetings, Brightsiders. Last week, our esteemed contributor Eutychus announced his bid to become the new Suns sideline social media reporter. I know that Euty has our support, and he'd undoubtedly be fantastic for that job.

But, did you also know that I'm going after a recently vacated media position? Yes, that's right. You've probably seen that the older than dirt venerable Andy Rooney produced his final "A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney" segment for Sunday night's "60 Minutes". The opinionated 138-year old Rooney will no longer be brightening our Sunday evenings with his unique brand of wit, grumpy ramblings and fascinating observations about topics such as rubber bands and magazine covers.

Well, I'd like to replace him. And, wouldn't you enjoy spending a few minutes with East Bay Ray every Sunday evening? Allow me to list my qualifications after the jump. 

I realize we have a lot of younger readers here, and you might not be well-acquainted with Rooney's work. Well, here is a greatest hits compilation. Sorry to inform you, but this youtube clip isn't set to the hip pop music you kids are into these days, the way player highlight videos often are.

And here is why I'm qualified to replace him:

  • I'm easily annoyed, even by things that are totally inconsequential. In one example of many, you should see how angry I get when other drivers don't use their turn signals before turning. The lady with the yapping dog that lives across the parking lot from me? My blood boils.
  • I'm old. I mean, not Rooney old. It's not like I'm a WWI veteran or anything. But readers here have been shocked by my displays of advanced age. 
  • I complain all the time. True story: At work, I was recently chosen along with a few others to meet with management to tell them how recent org changes were working. Why? Because they knew I would complain, and they didn't want any sugar-coating. 
  • I have an opinion on everything, even things nobody else really cares about. If you think Garret Siler is the only arcane topic on which I'll bloviate, you underestimate me. I can provide many testimonials from friends who will tell you about how I've told them in great detail about why I like or don't like a type of food, pets, somebody we mutually know, etc.

While I may be lacking in certain aspects of the role (my eyebrows are merely average length), I really think I'd be the perfect fit. Don't you agree? If so, please mail a letter of support to: 60 Minutes, 524 W. 57th Street, New York, New York, 10019. I'm sure many of you would like to send an e-mail or go to a website to vote or something like that, but that's not how Rooney rolls. Actually, it's best if you send a note that you wrote by hand, using a quill pen or, at the very least, one that was typed on a manual typewriter circa 1957.

Thanks for your support!


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The best-case scenario concerning the lockout for any NBA fan is just for it to end. But with the business of the NBA potentially set to undergo a seismic change once a deal (hopefully) is hammered...

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"When you're in professional sports sometimes, you get the impression that more people care than (they) really do...And you better be careful, because there are other things people can do with their income. ... Right now, I don't hear anyone talking about the NBA at all, except for the diehards."

-Jeff Van Gundy


Does the man have the pulse of the fans? I think so. And as a writer for a pretty popular Phoenix Suns blog, I can tell you, most of us don't care about the meager results of lockout negotiations. While David Stern uttered his typical threats of the apocalypse, a poll of we Brightsiders believed that those words of foreboding meant very little. So here is what he said of the weekend negotiations:

"We're not near anything, but we're closer than we were before."

Meh.

Said "Carrot Top" Bonner, part of the executive committee of the NBAPA and still of the Spurs:

[there were] "some closing of gaps, but remember how large gaps were to begin with."

Meh.

There's your update. For details, check this out.

But back to you and I and every other NBA fan...

The numbers are as clear as the comments on this site. Most of us don't care about the details and blah blah blah back and forth. We want basketball. We want trades and and free agent signings and a quality squad to go crazy for. And we don't care about soft and hard caps right now.

The lockout is about millionaires and billionaires fighting over their money, which in the end, is our money. We love the game and some of the players, but let's be honest here, we cannot relate to either side-most of us middle class people who are barely holding on to our jobs and paying our bills. This fight has little to do with us in reality. 

Nevertheless, we are the ones who suffer, as are the arena workers and popcorn stand vendors and the Suns dancers and those guys and gals that toss T-shirts up to us when we eventually get to a game or two. Bitter? We have every right to be.

Do you get pissed when certain politicians yield to the upper 1% of Americans and cut them tax breaks?

Hell yeah.

To the point, we cover the lockout because it is our job as blogging journalists. Anything but total coverage is slighting our audience. But another rich guy, Van Gundy, spoke words that ring true: we are sports fans, and we have options. Your favorite NFL squad still has a chance to make the playoffs, and we Arizonans have a squad to root for in the MLB postseason. Sure there will be a void if the NBA doesn't get it's act together, but guess what, they're slitting their own throats with the continued squabbling. Most of us will come back when it ends, be it two weeks or 20, yet some of us won't.

But just maybe the worst thing for Stern and Silver and Sarver and the players could be those die hards-season ticket holders and jersey purchasers and game watchers on TV may just decide to go casual. Read books, watch a movie, spend time with our family, and miss a game or 4 or 5 when this derangement ends.

Maybe apathy is worse than anger.



Steve Nash is clearly the heart and soul of the Phoenix Suns franchise. The above video in no way discounts the fact that he’s still one of the top point guards in the NBA. He’s the best...

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