FULL DISCLOSURE: This has no merit and is just for laughs. Enjoy. (Maybe)

Entertainment at sporting events is hit or miss, at best. There is no exact science to get the perfect blend of music, fun, and family values in a game where the demographics are all over the place. At the first pre-season game for the Phoenix Suns they had an on the surface boring concept for a fan interaction contest.

The question was, "If Eric Bledsoe was a professional wrestler what would he call himself?"

Don't as what the choices were or what he decided, because that is besides the point. It was something cliche, pun driven, and terrible I'm sure. That was because the Suns did not tap into the resources and ocean of nonsense that is the internet. Instead of letting Bledsoe come up with his name they should have let the experts do the work for them, because oh my, the experts delivered with Bledsoe's name!

"The Nigerian Stink Snake"

That gave me, a wrestling fan, a brilliant idea to see who on the Suns roster would have the best wrestling name using the Pro Wrestling Name Generator.

This is a nifty tool whether you like wrestling or not. Coming from "Atomic Gravy" this is a cool tool. It allows one to get their wrestling name, or if you want to be a lucha libre there is that, as well as a diva name if that is your thing. Like I said, we are doing this, so buckle up and enjoy the WWSuns roster for what it is worth. I ran through and ranked the name through the lens of a nearly 20+ year wrestling fan. With Survivor Series around the corner pick your five and let's have ourselves a good old fashioned 5-on-5 elimination match!

For fun, or whatever:

  1. Head Coach Jeff Hornacek: Chief Sol (There is no debate here, right? Chief Sun for the head coach of the Phoenix Suns)
  2. P.J. Tucker: Grim Scarface (I can just see Tucker coming out to some borderline Undertaker music with a skull mask, elaborate trench coat, and powerbombing fools through the ring)
  3. Owner Robert Sarver: Demolition Ballbuster (Longtime Suns fans, enter your own jokes here _____)
  4. General Manager Ryan McDonough: Cerebral Crippler (Wrestling personas are like real life personas ramped up to 11, this name is fitting)
  5. Assistant Coach Mike Longabardi: Gran Dulce (Big Sweet) (Ironic names are fun)
  6. Miles Plumlee: Sweet Preacher (Give him the black shirt and white collar already to make this official, like, under his jersey right now)
  7. Zoran Dragic: Ivan Brit (Giving a foreign wrestler a different foreign gimmick is classic professional wrestling so making the Slovenian British is too perfect)
  8. Shavlik Randolph: Vanilla Hound (Picture Randolph wearing those clothes the super white kids at your high school used to wear to look cool and meet girls, but accomplishes neither. That)
  9. Alex Len: Matt Terminator (A 7-foot foreigner that comes in and goes on a rampage like Ivan Drago in Rocky IV)
  10. Archie Goodwin: Wham Bam Sid (The fresh cut Wham Bam Sid jumping off the top rope and dancing and entertaining and just having a good 'ol time)
  11. Gerald Green: Bobo Blazer (When the Bobo Blazer gets hot there is no stopping him and he is one hot tag away from hitting you with the Finger Discount for the win)
  12. Isaiah Thomas: Amarillo Oso (Yellow Bear) (Does he wear a costume? Is he a mascot? With a lucha libre name he is definitely wearing a mask and being a pest)
  13. Goran Dragic: Rodeo Zodiac (Giving his opponents their astrological signs as he tilt-a-whirls them to their ultimate fate)
  14. Tyler Ennis: Strident Striker (Nerd glasses, prep school outfit, and thirst for knowledge inside and outside of the ring. Doling out lessons one match at a time)
  15. Eric Bledsoe: Nigerian Stink Snake (When I first read this I thought it said "Nigerian Night Snake," which I was sooooo on board with)
  16. Marcus Morris: Dash Bomber & Markieff Morris: Voracious Earthquake (Going to just make them a tag-team, because you all know their story. Dash & Quake are here to cause some havoc, hid the women and children)
  17. Anthony Tolliver: King Kong Primate (I'm not sure what to do with this one...)
  18. T.J. Warren: Testy Coward (So he is a cowardly heel and I do not know what Warren did to make the bosses mad with this name. Geez)
  19. President of Basketball Operations Lon Babby: Strident Grinder (Poor Babby, low on #SUNSRANK and gets the worst wrestling name of the bunch)

So why not do the BSOTS staff while we are at it:

  • Dave King: Phoenix Wraith (From Phoenix, perfection)
  • Kristofer Habbas: Atomic Gravy
  • Jim Coughenour: Apex Dragon
  • Sean Sullivan: Duke Champ
  • Jacob Padilla: Jack Satan
  • Bryan Gibberman: Nigerian Ballbuster (You follow Gibby on Twitter, right?)
  • Sreekar Jasthi: Dirty Assassin
  • Ray Hrovat: Ponderous Apollo
  • Seth Pollack: King Shredder (Because he is the boss, brilliant)
  • Rollin Mason: Dirty Python
  • Geoff Allen: Nasty Sol (Nasty sun, yo)
  • Keith Scheessele: Lex Death
  • Michael Lisboa: Boorish Claymore
  • Kellan Olson: Canadian Lapetus
  • Matija Ravnikar: Grizzly Valentine
  • Austin Elmer: Demolition War Bringer

Which member of the Suns had your favorite wrestling name? Which BSOTS staffer? Oh, and what is yours?

Bright Side of the Suns was lucky enough to have our part-time videographer on hand for the season opener as the Phoenix Suns blew out the Los Angeles Lakers 119-99.

It was Eric Bledsoe's night - he scored 16 points on 7 shots (3 of 4 on threes) with 9 assists and 6 rebounds by the end of the third quarter. Bledsoe was tossed after complaining about Kobe giving him a bloody lip on a clear foul that was not called.

"Yeah," coach Hornacek said after the game about Bledsoe's tech. "But you know Eric (Bledsoe) and Goran (Dragic), these guys deserve some respect from the calls. When these guys are getting slapped in the face and they're not calling it, then I don't mind a guy getting upset like that."

Bledsoe was not available to the media...

PHOENIX — Before the Phoenix Suns began dismantling the Los Angeles Lakers on Wednesday night, their entertainment staff gaffed. Confetti from pregame introductions slowly fell from the U.S....

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
PHOENIX — It was understandable why the Lakers started their second game of the year looking defeated. Twenty-four hours hadn’t passed since Los Angeles saw forward Julius Randle‘s...

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

The three headed monster of Goran Dragic, Eric Bledsoe and Isaiah Thomas scored 57 points in the Phoenix Suns rout of the Los Angeles Lakers in their home opener.

The Phoenix Suns opened their season with an emphatic slam dunk by Miles Plumlee and finished with a franchise high 16 three-point baskets on opening night.

The Suns led by 24 at the end of three quarters - 98-74 - and the game wasn't even that close. The final margin of just 20 points - 119-99 Suns - was more a product of a sloppy fourth quarter than anything else.

The game was a rout all the way through.

The most exciting part of the second half was seeing Eric Bledsoe show some emotion. The game got heated late in the third quarter when Kobe fouled Eric Bledsoe. Bledsoe was so mad at the refs - and I've NEVER seen him get mad before - that he got a tech. Then two minutes later Kobe tied him up on a rebound and got the jump-ball call instead of a foul. Bledsoe blew up and got himself tossed from the game.

The Suns took a 19-9 lead halfway through the first quarter when Isaiah Thomas subbed in for Goran Dragic.

The Lakers countered with Ronnie Price subbing in for Kobe Bryant.

Ouch, Lakers.

A couple of minutes later, Gerald Green spelled Eric Bledsoe (who already had 5 points, 4 assists and 3 rebounds by that time) and the rout was on. The Suns lead grew to 30-15 even with the Lakers leaving in most of their starters.

In the words of Forrest Gump: "And that's all I'll say about that."

With the 30-15 lead, coach Hornacek decided it was Archie time, along with Green, Alex Len, Thomas and Markieff Morris.

After one quarter, the Suns led 33-19.

The Suns got a bit slacky in the second quarter, allowing the Lakers to pull within 6 at 34-28 on an 13-1 run and Hornacek called a quick timeout. The Suns let down began with Isaiah Thomas settling for (and initially making) threes while offering worse than matador defense on the other end. Wayne Ellington came in to make a bunch of catch-and-shoot midrange shots to help the Laker cause.

The timeout only helped a little by getting the Suns scoring back on track, but the Lakers continued to score nearly at will with 21 points in the last 6 game minutes. That's a LOT of midrange scoring.

By the way, I have to give Ronnie Price some credit here. When he came in late in the first, he brought his hard-nosed defense to the table and helped take the Suns completely out of any rhythm. They weren't helping themselves at all, but Ronnie Price didn't give Isaiah Thomas any daylight either.

The Suns righted the ship a bit by bringing back the starters with Alex Len in the middle and if Kobe Bryant hadn't hit a million multi-juke fallaway jumpers it would have been a rout again.

But Alex Len was really the man for a couple of minutes there. He altered about 3,000 shot attempts on one possession alone against three Lakers (Hill, Davis and Kobe). The Lakers never scored. And then Len altered a shot the next time down too. Len's line at the end of the half was 0 points and 3 rebounds, but he made a big difference.

Suns lead at the end of two quarters was 59-50. Isaiah Thomas finished the half with 13 points and 2 assists in 11 minutes despite the lackadaisical effort on D that helped give the Lakers life.

The Suns began the second half the way they began the first half with a big 33-16 run begun with a Plumlee slam and littered with a few threes and drives to the hoop.

At one point Kobe just mugged Goran Dragic out on the perimeter for all to see and not one ref called a foul. Kobe is going to hurt someone - maybe himself. He's playing HARD out there, daring people to stop him.

Miles Plumlee made some stupid mistakes, so they brought in Alex Len and... well, I like this guy. A LOT. He once again altered some shots, including a Kobe fallaway that made Kobe so mad he got himself a technical. Len gets better with every shift on the court.

The most excitement of the third quarter: The game got heated late in the third quarter when Kobe fouled Eric Bledsoe. Bledsoe was so mad at the refs - and I've NEVER seen him get mad before - that he got a tech. Then two minutes later Kobe tied him up on a rebound and got the jump-ball call instead of a foul. Bledsoe blew up and got himself tossed from the game.

Figure that. Eric Bledsoe, Mr. Stoic, tossed from a game. Think he's focused on the season? Yeah, me too.

Bledsoe finished with 16 points (5 of 7 overall, 3 of 4 on threes), 9 assists, 6 rebounds in 26 minutes of play.

After three quarters, the Suns led 98-74 and the Hydra had 16, 18 (Dragic) and 15 (Thomas) points, along with 14 combined assists and 12 combined rebounds. Marcus Morris was hot, pouring in 21 points with 5 for 9 shooting on threes (8-14 overall). Markieff had 12, with 3 rebounds. For the Lakers, Kobe Bryant had 31 points on 11 of 25 shooting. No other Laker had more than 10 points.

Tyler Ennis started the fourth quarter along with Isaiah Thomas, and he had a runner in the lane on his first attempt. The rest of the game became a showcase for individual performances. Gerald Green kinda disappointed, but the others were okay.

Isaiah Thomas was on fire even in the fourth, finishing the game with 23 points, making 5 of 7 three pointers and 9 of 11 shots overall.

The Suns...

  • were 15-29 on threes before the six minute mark of the fourth. DAYUM!
  • finished 16-32 on threes, marking more threes than they made in ANY game last season
  • 16 threes is a franchise high for ANY Suns team  on opening night since their inception
  • have beaten the Lakers in 5 of their last 6 meetings, and are now 71-45 against the Lakers in Phoenix
  • have won their last two home openers (last year they beat Portland) for the first time since 2007-08.

Page 834 of 2360


Web Links

Sponsored Ads