I won't say that there's no one out there that hates the LA Lakers more than me, but I think my hater creds are pretty solid.
I grew up in the 80s when it was Magic's Show Time that bounced some pretty good Suns teams from the playoffs 5 times out of 7 playoff appearances. Now, every time I see Alvan Adams walking around the USAC doing his job as VP of Keeping Shit Running, I just want to hug him in sympathy for being on the wrong end of destiny as embodied by Kareem and friends (not that Kareem had many friends outside of Bruce Lee (seriously click that link - you won't regret it)).
You think getting bounced by the Spurs over these past few years was frustrating? Ha! I scoff at your petty disappointments.
Mix in getting my window kicked in during my recent visit to Staples Center and I think we can agree that I have gallons of hater-aid flowing in my veins.
And yet when it comes to Lakers vs Celtics, there are
10 5 good reasons why I will be holding my nose and pulling for the Purple and Gold.
Note: I swore when I thought about this story yesterday, I had 10 reasons but today, only 5. I suppose if I wait two more days I won't have any...
1. Losing to the champs: This one is pretty obvious and was repeated several times by Coach Gentry after the Suns got dismissed from the L.O.B. hunt by the
Lakers Black Mamba. He's got a point: if you are going to get beat, you might as well get beat by the best so you can come back next year and convince your players season ticket holders that your team really was good and honestly had a chance to win if it weren't for those meddling kids in the purple and gold.
2. Western Conference Bros: Another reason cited by Gentry is that you have to root for your fellow Western Conference brothers. I am not sure I fully understand this, but perhaps it goes back to the East Coast vs West Coast rap wars that I never seemed to fully understand, since I am as lame as they come on the hip-hop meter.
If I understand things correctly, we West Coasters should be rooting against Big Baby Davis because he reminds us of Big E (or is it Biggie). Right, yo?
3. Lose their hunger: Now here's a good old selfish reason. The
Lakers Kobe were clearly a hungry, hungry hippo this postseason. They gobbled up all the marbles that stood between them and winning. If they don't win this season, they are just going to come back hungrier next year. What the Suns need more than anything is for the fire in the Lakers' bellies to be extinguished so they can focus on courting more Kardashians and coming up with more ways to look incredibly foolish in hats.
And yes, this argument is fatally flawed, but give me a break - ok?
4. Hate KG: There are people who hate the Celtics a lot more than me. As far as I am concerned, why should I care if Paul Pierce rolls on the ground and needs a wheelchair every time he's fouled hard? Kendrick Perkins scowls and is a meanie - so what. But Kevin Garnett has turned into a giant (insert curse here)-bag/head/wad.
I simply can't root for anyone who would taunt a poor innocent foreigner like this. Who does he think he is, Sheriff Joe? What an ass.
5. Kobe: The only person more polarizing than Kobe Bryant is Sarah Palin. You either love them or want to throw darts at their faces all day long. Palin aside, I find myself on the wrong side of the Kobe debate as far as most Suns fans are concerned. I couldn't care less about his personal issues (and he was never convicted; remember Michael Irvin?) so it comes down to being an unabashed fan of greatness. What Kobe did to the Suns in six straight games and to close out the series was nothing if it wasn't great. It was Michael Jordan beating the Jazz (and the Suns, Pacers, Knicks, entire NBA) all over again.
Can I reconcile my personal loathing of the Lakers with my complete awe-inspired admiration for Kobe's incredible shot-making ability? It would seem so, because I am dying to see him do it again against any team not called the Phoenix Suns.